Dating your Mistakes

There are an estimated six billion human beings on this wonderful planet Earth. It's safe to say there is someone out there for all of us with those kind of numbers. However, in order to find that "special person" you're going to have to weed through others first, and no one said it was going to be easy.

Relationships you enter that may not go the distance should not always be considered failures, especially if you are still able to maintain a friendship with that person. More importantly, every relationship that does not make it must be learned from so you can make better decisions for future partners. Therefore, a previous relationship can be considered successful as long as you learned something from it. Catch the drift?

Interesting outlook, but so true. There is no such thing as a perfect partner, but there is such a thing as someone who's perfect for you. Everyone has different qualities, values, and morals they seek and expect from a partner. Let's face it, were all works in progress, but we as a human race and most individuals share a common interest in doing things everyday to better ourselves and community. So, wouldn't you want to date someone who is doing just that? A person who is driven, motivated, passionate, and ambitious about achieving goals and making themselves and others better.

If you've ever dated someone who flat out was doing nothing for the betterment of others or themselves, better yet, someone who had no motivation to improve their quality of life or had been given chances to improve their well-being over and over and failed to capitalize, it's ok because we've all dated losers before. The bigger question is what did you learn from dating this person? Did you find out things about yourself? Maybe you realized how much more ambitious, goal-oriented, or more mature you were overall compared to this person.

Listen, everyone makes mistakes. It's what we learn from them that defines us and helps us to grow in life. In addition, the experiences we take from past relationships will help us to better understand who we really want to be with in the future. Look at the dating game as a trial and error process where the ultimate goal is to weed out all those "losers" and get you to the person who most closely fits what YOU'RE all about, which is hopefully someone who is constantly seeking ways to better themselves.

There are some problems that can make this theory in-effective, and for these particular problems I'm not a psychiatrist so I cannot prescribe anything to fix you. However, with an in-depth look into yourself, you may be able to figure it out.

Problem 1: There are several people in this world who don't have any morals, values, standards, ambitions, goals, or many positive qualities or attitude. Problem 2: There are also people who fail to learn from the mistakes they've already made and repeat them over and over. Problem 3: There are people with both of these issues.

Say for example you're fed up with the types of guys/girls you've been dating over the past however many years. They all seem to be the same...yup, losers. Why can't you break this dating trend? You jump from relationship to relationship, run into the same problems, try the same methods to fix them, and it still all ends in the same result, complete disaster. You swear though your next partner isn't going to be like the last one, you refuse to date someone who carries the same traits as your previous partner, you promise yourself over and over the next one will be different, yet you still continue to date the same type of people that have failed you before. You need to change the type of people you're dating! Remember "weed out the losers," so you can get to prince or princess charming. Well, you'll never get to the charming ones when you repeatedly date the losers.

I understand it's hard to tell right from the get-go if a potential partner carries the same types of traits that didn't work in your previous partners, but after a couple of dates if you recognize something that has consistently failed you over and over, RUN!

Many people have this problem where they cannot recognize, or refuse to recognize any potential problems in a mate they've already run into before. In other words, they basically refuse to learn from previous mistakes (sign of immaturity) and will settle for someone who they know deep-down isn't good for them. Hence, "dating your mistakes."

It's not entirely determined why someone would put themselves through tortuous relationships over and over and fail to recognize the types of traits, things, and people (mistakes) who have already failed them. The truth may lie within THAT PERSON and not the people they're dating, but themselves, get it?

You must look within yourself, love yourself, and understand who you are and where you're going before you can give your heart to someone else. If you are someone who is lost, has no guidance/direction, doesn't set goals to achieve, or isn't driven and motivated, then guess what? You're more then likely going to date someone who is just like you.

Unfortunately, many people aren't satisfied within themselves, whether it is related to a low self-esteem, lack of confidence, or just an overall fear of being alone. These type of people will settle for almost anyone when searching for a significant other, therefore, making the same mistakes to fulfill a false need within themselves.

Furthermore, if you cannot and will not learn from the mistakes you've already made in your past relationships, you're going to continue to repeat them. Break the cycle within yourself and you will break your repetitive dating cycle. Set goals, become motivated, and guide yourself toward a better future. In return, you will find that if you do these things, you will want to find a partner who is also doing the same. Therefore, you will break the cycle of dating those complacent fools and be on your way to finding Mr. or Mrs. right.